America, our hot hot cousin

America. That vast land over there, across the pond, is to us French like a distant cousin. A girl we hear a lot about, but barely know. A girl we want to make out with, but don't have the guts to date.
She's HOT, but is she TOO HOT? Can we handle her? To the French, that American cousin is definitely excentric. She lives a material, abundant life. She likes to show her well-rounded breasts and her tight butt to the world. She's tempted by many sins, sins we ourselves long for but lack the guts to pursue. She's a party girl - with her, you always get to eat the dessert first.
The Frenchman feels safer at home, with his ole' fat lady, that obligant, exceptionally brilliant and well educated 'thing'. She's long past her best-years but preserves a certain charm under several layers of make-up and parfume. "L'exception culturelle" still sees herself as a patron of arts and fashion but has obviously lost the vigor of her best years.
Now, I want to get rid of my ole' fat lady and go after that hot cousin named 'America'. See you over there for future reporting live from North Carolina!