[Best of the Web]: Daddy don't hit me

"She had on a glorious SMILF coat, her hair was in a ponytail, and she was wearing tight spandex pants. I took one last regretful look, thought about how pretty she was, and realized that Lydia probably wasn't going to like me anymore, divorce or no. [...] Reality hit full on. I was a 6'2" 230lbs ogre, covered in wood chips, still trying to catch the rest of my breath, in the middle of a throng of SMILFs who were laughing their asses off at my expense. There were no good-natured insults this time, like when I had told [another] story earlier. Their laughter was too powerful for words. Lydia laughed loudest of all. I opened my eyes, looked down, and sighed deeply."

Read the full story. It is hilarious. Really, Really.